Why do ethicists write such long papers?

I found this fascinating:

If indeed my observation that ethicists hardly write short papers is correct, this might say something problematic about us. For example, that we are less sure of ourselves than other philosophers, and thus feel that we have to go on and on. Or that there is a pro-length bias in the guidance we give to our students; or in accepting ethics papers for publication. Or that the subject makes people feel that they always have to (pretend to) be very serious, because morality is such a grave topic. Or even that ethicists simply tend to have less fun. A while ago Mike Otsuka posted here asking about funny titles for ethics papers, and we all found it hard to find examples.

OK people, the challenge is upon you: what are some funny titles for possible ethics papers?  All of my thoughts in this direction are non-funny, such as "A Good Start," or "Here’s Why None of My Papers Have an Abstract."

For the pointer I thank Saul Smilansky.

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